Very Respected Swamiji,
After much deliberations, I am compelled to write to you. I know I will have my answer.
I never thought about my positive status for 12 years but last 2 years when I started eating raw I improved in my complexion, etc but lost weight. I was scared to meet my old friends, I was always in hiding.
Now, though I am under a doctor, I am taking medicine only for my infection after which I put on 9kgs in 4 months and weighed 64kgs.
Of late I had mild bronchitis (now cured) but it shattered me and I am always thinking negative even contemplating extremes.
Now I think everything is forced, i.e. eating, yoga, etc.
I visit every site to find something positive.
I am 45 yrs old, unmarried, but now when I see couples, children, I go into depression thinking I am the odd one, what I am doing here. I am qualified and at home. Though I go for morning walks, the rest of the day I am free, no friends, therefore I find everything meaningless.
I know medicines are there, I will put on weight, but deep there I know I am odd one.
Before I used to meditate for 30 min but now I am scared to shut my eyes.
Thanking you, may the joy and peace of the Almighty be with you always, ending with loads of love.
Yogi Mir's Answer:
One sure way to bring your mind out of this downward spiral is to focus on helping others.
In this case, please find a way to connect with others in need.
You will then discover that life has Meaning. It will be meaningful for you to go on living.
There are always others who are a little more in need than you. Think about it. Who can it be? Other people, in compromised situations perhaps, or children, or animals, or even plants.
Where can you connect with that group and make your presence helpful?
Once you find this Selfless Service, you will see that you are not odd at all (you are part of a divine system at play), that nothing is forced (food, yoga, sleep) but seamless and natural, even if physically or mentally challenging, and you will meet like-minded friends, and your service will be a meditation in action and life will have meaning.